Believing As They Say We Should Believe

If we have it so that, well, we are sentient beings and we have a soul that lives on to either be punished for all time or not...
If we have nothing to look forward to, because, there's nothing after, that whatever consciousness we have now, dissipates into the cosmos just as it appeared as we came in/developed and grew tired and moved on...
Believing as they say we should, what more is there to it? What does there need to be? Why must there be any thing? Before? During? After?
It seems to me that all of this, every thing, is just a time waster, something to do while we're here...some kind of semblance of "order" by and by to keep civil and not wipe us totally out while we're here futzing around...but we should be believing as they say we should believe, it's just a control thing, trying to make sense of things and order life as if we all had some kind of control over it. Which, I don't consider we have much spin on. Not much any way. It's like gardening in a whirlwind, grasping ghosts with shovels. What do you believe? Why? Isn't it all just by the by with what your parents raised you as, your culture demanded, and that, if you were born elsewhere and in a different time, you'd certainly believe and actuate other visions and other dreams. Maybe there's nothing else in all of this but this. That, this is all there is, and, to consider and think and wish and hope is just ridiculous, just another futz around with the precious amount of staying-ness (time) we have here. It'll all be gone soon, all according to some crazy plan of you doing what you do plus what others are doing and...help yourself, good luck, we're all going to die and that's about it. Boompf, nothing more. No sense being bothered by any thing really, is there? Yet we do. We are. We create these worlds and messages and myths and realities...all so that we won't be so scared of the inevitable I think we all realize deep deep down: WE ARE ALONE AND FRIGHTENED TO DEATH OF ... DEATH ... and that's the one last thing going we have to conquer in life, of a way of going where we go through experience, realizing things, unique to us, but in many ways common to all...more or less...and then we're gone. Oh well. So what. Why the beef or comment or in some cases: bother.