Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wig City

Dig you freak out when Dylan went electric? Have a conniption with that "wild" guitar solo in the Carpenters Good-Bye To Love? Are you prone to massive seemingly erratic emotional out bursts? It's only human, you're supposed to make mistakes. Thanks Billy Joel, feel much better.
{From The Handheld}

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Yeah And Aint It Surprising?

Yeah, and aint it surprising? The good news is very good and sad. I mean, here I am feeling so good at work this week and things have been good and bad and for some reason I'm not terrorizing the hell out of my self that I'm thinking when is it going to break? But isn't something terrible going to happen? Of course, and it does. Both local and afar. With people I know in hospitable and then strangers, even more just flipping out, going off, and it's very very sad. I'm older than every one else. I should be gone, but I'm not. I haven't a thing to do or say and all around are all these cool people and they're doing things in a publically acknowleged way, and are making money from it, something I desperately want, but have no inkling for and means to, and though I don't want their lives as such, I don't want to be like them do like them, I do want that acclaim or notice for what I do and say. I want it to have meaning, resonance, be of higher accord, and, to have to be able to do that alone, and NOT HAVE to do what I do now. Yeah, and aint it surprising, they make sure these people aren't listed as terrorists. They shoot their co-workers and they destroty company enemy workers and property with their airborne vehicles, and their end result is terror, yet, aint it surprising? Yeah.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Used to go when Ontario had a motor speedway. Riverside as well, met Dan Gurney way back when. It was all so cool. Then all the key men folk figure heroes in my life began dropping like flies, literally, right before my eyes, and I never quite recovered. And yeah I know, boo-hoo! Get over it, but didn't realize such the impact until 40 years later. Who am I? What should I be? What care to sort anything out about any of it any way? Nothing. NOTHING!
{{From Unit # 9630}}

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Read Warren Hinckle's WHO KILLED HUNTER S. THOMPSON, if it will ever be released. It's told to this author by ed and proprietor of Last Gasp Press of SF that spring this spring will see it. Was in final 2 weeks of final editing...and that was it seems about a week or three ago now. Been pining for some HST screed, but MUTINEER, the final book of letters, is now due 2011 or so, FEBRUARY, of that year, oh well.
{{From Unit # 9630}}

Monday, February 01, 2010

The New Month

MON. FEB. 1st, 2010
Don't know precise methodology for speaking here, right now. For what should be written, who knows? Can't say as I'm of any help.
There's too much. Much too much to say, that needs relating, etc.
Life is god masturbating. Just, living life, being, experiencing, in all its myriad, seemingly sourceless permutations: animal, vegetable, mineral. In the vast array of creatures' thought, emotion, etc. That is its "essence."
Is it more important for me to control my temper, my thoughts, et cetera, than it ever will be for me to write stories and sell them? Is it more important to learn what happiness is than to get a job/career that "means" something?
Will curing me of my infantilism cure me of my creativity? Will discipline to sit and read and write without missing a day of it, make me a better person or will the reverse do a better job? How will I know either way?
A person knows only what they know. They go for that. Their instincts those voices all that chatter, from within from without, they take all that into account, and act, for good or ill, to for of by themself/others, and that is life. And if in any retrospective view is measured, some things worked some did not and there are other deals wanting. And that's just about it.
I was not in the mood to read or write or stay here this morning of a later start day, but here I am writing, and soon I'll be reading, and maybe just maybe we'll get every thing covered.
{From The Handheld}