Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Man In Chair Facing Southwest
Hilltop. Man in Chair Facing South West. San Diego. A friend of mine took my photo in this comfortable chair. My friend with whom I'll probably never have any more contact, since she got married. How and why is that? Because I'm single and no longer a part of her world, which is married and on to other things? I don't know. What of it? Who cares? I just want to die some times. I don't care about a goddamn thing. I don't want to kill myself but I tell you I'd like to go to sleep and never wake up some times. I just don't care. I just don't give a good goddamn some times. That is how I feel. I'd much rather sit in a chair in a comfortable store front and watch the world go away than I would want to have to do any thing like work or fret over trivial stuff like the war and gas prices and what I'm going to do for the rest of my stupid life. I don't have any convictions or any thing. My pittance is just that. I don't have the drive weal desire or compunction to blow myself up in a crowd of people or don a uniform and liberate people. I just don't care. Not that much, not that bad. I don't care. I would much rather sit and not be hungry cold tired and I'd rather come up with ideas to write and be able to write and publish and get well paid for every thing. Nothing more.